They’re keeping a close watch on you at every moment. You know this because you are never quite asleep, and yet both the haziness that circles your vision and the way sounds echo in your ears tell you that you are never quite awake either. Through it all, they persist, indistinct, but everpresent along the walls, watching, waiting. Like the constant presence of your silent stewards, the haziness is something you grow used to. It feels… comforting, in a rather disconcerting way.
A few other things are constant; you always feel cold, so much so that it sets you trembling. The attendants keep blankets and garments on you at all times. It's never really enough; It's not what you truly need, but you understand that they mean well, so you let them. They also try to feed you; bowls of lukewarm pale sludge. Entirely unappetizing. If only they would let you near the braziers, the fireplace....but they know better; or at least, they think they do.
Whenever the Sun rises, everything is clear. The numb haze recedes, and you can feel a billowing in your lungs, a quickening in your heart. Fluttery. Yes. Gold-orange light on the horizon. Beautiful. So beautiful. Fluttery. Everything so clear. Sun.
You hurl yourself from the sheets and dash out of the chamber, out onto the balcony, tearing away at your garments in the process. It’s not the first time. Vaguely, you can register the changes. The numbness, the stillness, the Sun makes it all go away. Your skin is golden now, glowing like the Sun. It always is, but now it shines especially well. You smile.
The attendants come to drag you back. They always do. Their tones are terse, faces concerned; they make sounds with their mouths, but you can’t really make sense of it. They grab you; wrists and shoulders. Touching them, being touched by them fills you with an eerie sensation. It’s uncomfortable. You squirm away from them and back into the sunlight.Truly, they are the ones who don’t understand. Urgently, you point to the sunrise. Sun. Sun!
They know not what to make of the light on the horizon. They can see it, but they can’t feel it like you do. This is evident as you examine their faces. They see only you. They think they know, but they don't. They know nothing of the warmth in your womb, just beneath your skin. Their expressions spell a fright,and it makes you frightened as well. They manage to pull you back inside, and, having received at least some of what you need, you let them. They pile upon you blankets and garments once again. Stifling, clumsy creatures.
Three times. Three times!
When the Sun is directly overhead, you hurry outside again; it is warmer now, and your skin shimmers. You smile. It feels amazing. Already, you can hear the clucking of the attendants, the same warbling in their voices. You look at them, and they do not glow. Not at all. Now you have the energy to evade them a little longer, darting to and fro, even with your swollen belly. Sometimes you feel it moving, deep inside. It stirs especially in the light, feeling what you feel, as you feel. You stop as it squirms. You smile.
The man comes to see you then, and he brings the child. Both look as concerned as the attendants harassing you. Still, seeing you, he says something to them, and they retreat. The child runs to you, throws itself into your arms. It is wild and panicked, and you are not quite sure why. You pet it, because…. Well, it seems like the right thing to do. It seems to work a little.
A deep tone draws your attention. The man’s voice. He makes more sounds, and you can tell he is also panicked. You smile at him; it seems the right thing to do. The child is noising now. You pet it a little harder. It doesn’t help. A little harder… now it’s yelping, and the man’s panic becomes clear. He pulls it away from you, and you frown.
When the Sun is at its last, just about to sink below the horizon, you scurry outside for the final time. The last of the red orange rays exacerbates the pleasant squirming within, and though light and heat are beginning to fade, you still feel so warm. Surprisingly, the attendants do not drag you back, but come outside to watch with you. It's nice.
You are glowing again. Warm and golden.
A few other things are constant; you always feel cold, so much so that it sets you trembling. The attendants keep blankets and garments on you at all times. It's never really enough; It's not what you truly need, but you understand that they mean well, so you let them. They also try to feed you; bowls of lukewarm pale sludge. Entirely unappetizing. If only they would let you near the braziers, the fireplace....but they know better; or at least, they think they do.
Whenever the Sun rises, everything is clear. The numb haze recedes, and you can feel a billowing in your lungs, a quickening in your heart. Fluttery. Yes. Gold-orange light on the horizon. Beautiful. So beautiful. Fluttery. Everything so clear. Sun.
You hurl yourself from the sheets and dash out of the chamber, out onto the balcony, tearing away at your garments in the process. It’s not the first time. Vaguely, you can register the changes. The numbness, the stillness, the Sun makes it all go away. Your skin is golden now, glowing like the Sun. It always is, but now it shines especially well. You smile.
The attendants come to drag you back. They always do. Their tones are terse, faces concerned; they make sounds with their mouths, but you can’t really make sense of it. They grab you; wrists and shoulders. Touching them, being touched by them fills you with an eerie sensation. It’s uncomfortable. You squirm away from them and back into the sunlight.Truly, they are the ones who don’t understand. Urgently, you point to the sunrise. Sun. Sun!
They know not what to make of the light on the horizon. They can see it, but they can’t feel it like you do. This is evident as you examine their faces. They see only you. They think they know, but they don't. They know nothing of the warmth in your womb, just beneath your skin. Their expressions spell a fright,and it makes you frightened as well. They manage to pull you back inside, and, having received at least some of what you need, you let them. They pile upon you blankets and garments once again. Stifling, clumsy creatures.
Three times. Three times!
When the Sun is directly overhead, you hurry outside again; it is warmer now, and your skin shimmers. You smile. It feels amazing. Already, you can hear the clucking of the attendants, the same warbling in their voices. You look at them, and they do not glow. Not at all. Now you have the energy to evade them a little longer, darting to and fro, even with your swollen belly. Sometimes you feel it moving, deep inside. It stirs especially in the light, feeling what you feel, as you feel. You stop as it squirms. You smile.
The man comes to see you then, and he brings the child. Both look as concerned as the attendants harassing you. Still, seeing you, he says something to them, and they retreat. The child runs to you, throws itself into your arms. It is wild and panicked, and you are not quite sure why. You pet it, because…. Well, it seems like the right thing to do. It seems to work a little.
A deep tone draws your attention. The man’s voice. He makes more sounds, and you can tell he is also panicked. You smile at him; it seems the right thing to do. The child is noising now. You pet it a little harder. It doesn’t help. A little harder… now it’s yelping, and the man’s panic becomes clear. He pulls it away from you, and you frown.
When the Sun is at its last, just about to sink below the horizon, you scurry outside for the final time. The last of the red orange rays exacerbates the pleasant squirming within, and though light and heat are beginning to fade, you still feel so warm. Surprisingly, the attendants do not drag you back, but come outside to watch with you. It's nice.
No comments:
Post a Comment